I'm an underachiever. And it hurts.

I've reazlied that I need everything perfect so I can move on. And for me, it's all or nothing. Either get it all done or nothing. And I can't stand it. I've realized that I'm a complete perfectionist. And it's horrible.

I hate going through these teen years. The deals with relationships, finding who you are, friends, family. I honestly can say my life is messed. Some people say that just because they may just have a bad day. Well honestly I believe I have a messed living. I can't go through a day without a problem.

I want to be happy again. Truly to the point where I don't have to care anymore because I know I'll be happy. I want to find someone to make me happy. I want to make peace with people. I want to do good in school. I want to go to college for something that I can stick with my life. I want to adopt kids. I want to find me.

Truly, I want to open myself up. Be me. I could let just all my secrets out and won't care what people think. I just want to be happy.

If you've read this far, I respect you and thank you. I don't care who you are - if i've never talked to you or if I talk to you daily, tell me what you think. I would help me so much.

- xavier.