| It's okay. It's how you grow up. So today was fine. Well, somewhat. I did a major job on packing my life away. We sold some furniture and I packed a bunch in boxes. It was good but my room that I'm in right now feels so naked. And I'm on a stool. Not a comfertable chair, help! I put it all in the box thinking I'm going to deal with this all later when I move into my new apartment. I drove past the apartments today. They look fun and okay but I'm just not ready yet. It's not really going to hit me until the day we move into the house. The sad thing? The last night I sleep in that house is the day of my birthday. Sad, yes? I've been in that house 16 years from that day. So, it's hard. I'm not going to cry and think serious about it until we move out. We also gave my cat away to my friend Jessica today. The cat was with me for the longest time. Out of all the pets, we didn't have to put her to sleep and we had no problems with her. She wanted to always be alone but she loved attention. Weird? She's in a good home now and will get a good life. She has more pets, another cat, more space, and more love. I hope she gets through it fine. When we took her in the kennel, it was hard. My dad said bye. And so on the car ride with her over in the car, I watched her meow a lot and wondering about the outside world because she's never been outside. It was hard then to let her out of the cage. But hopefully she's okay. She'll be fine. I know it. I went to a party tonight. It was great fun. The beginning was more of me just sitting around the couch with some people talking, eating food, talking. Later was dancing and playing random games. I miss the people I used to hang with. I'm so glad I reunited with some people. I loved opening up. I really just need to come out of my shell. Lately, I've been thinking about a certain person. And I shouldn't. But yet, I want to. Honestly, from my view, I think they view me as a underrated, sad, annoying, but yet fun human being based from my blogs, convos, and texts. I don't know. I just could say I have a crush. But how would it work? Honestly, if I could do a relationship over the other part of the United States, I could do it. If you can get to know someone so much over years and then finally meet them, you're going to hook. They're astonishing though. We have same views. And it's the type I'm looking for. But I'm kind of feeling that I come off as annoying. And I don't. I'm not, well from what people have told me. But I always second guess myself. I really wish that the person could just bring it up about this subject [the whole crush, and such...]. But then I'd deny it. I don't know. I think I'm over analyzing this. I want to live with the energy from a 8 hour sleep session, have someone who cares, want some success, good grades, and to finally be happy. |
